Birth Story...

Benjamin is napping right now and I want to get this typed out before I forget(and as Im typing this I will have to call Remko to verify most of the story since it already seems like a haze).
I had been having contractions for a couple weeks prior to Benjamin being born, however they would last for a bit and than they would stop.  The first night I had them was on May 31st and we thought for sure this was it! So off we went to labour and delivery.  However I was still only dilated 2cm(which I was at my previous drs appt).  The nurse also said that since I wasnt feeling the contractions wrap around my back, they weren't strong enough.  I was only feeling them in my lower abdomen, like a period cramp only worse.  Since there was no change we decided to go home.  All week long my contractions came and went, sometimes staying for the whole afternoon, but than would slow down or even stop for awhile. 
On Sunday june 6th we were watching some tv and the contractions picked up, this time a little more stronger.  We waited for a few hours and than decided to head back into labour and delivery.  We were worried bc we live half hour away and we didnt want to get stuck at home delivering this baby.  We got to the hospital and the nurse checked me, and yet again ZERO change! I was really upset.  I thought for sure there would have been some change in the dilation. So we went back home.
I didnt get much sleep Sunday night as the contractions stayed, although they weren't picking up in pain or getting closer together, they were staying consistent. All day Monday , Monday night and all day Tuesday the contractions stayed. Tuesday afternoon we decided to go and get some groceries since the contractions seemed to be getting a little more intense, but not closer together.  We would be walking through the grocery store and we would have to stop to breath through them. (well Remko didnt have to breath through them, but he did stop with me :-)....).  We thought there was a good chance that things were finally progressing, however I didnt want to go to labour and delivery only to be sent home again.  Tuesday evening I called the hospital and they said there were no rooms available and if we came in we would be in the triage room(which felt like a closet).  After a lot of talking we decided to stay home.  I knew I would be more comfortable here than in a closet.  We went to bed, however I still wasnt able to sleep(and hadnt had a good nights sleep since Saturday night).  So I got up and laboured a bit on my exercise ball, did some laundry, cleaned  and put away dishes, and cleaned the kitchen floor.  At 4 am I woke Remko up and said this was it.  The contractions were getting stronger, however they still weren't wrapping around my back.  I let Remko sleep a bit longer and I went and took a shower.  At 5 he got up and made some calls for his family to cover for him at the barn and off we went to the hospital.
My friend Jess met us at the hospital since she was going to photograph the birth.  Thankfully the big delivery room was available so we were put in there right away(that and the closet room wasnt clean from the last patient).  I was checked again(Just the thought of internals make me shiver now, I do NOT like them at all!!) and still no change!  However they wanted to keep me since the OB was coming in in a couple hours.  Since I wasnt admitted I was technically allowed to still eat so I made Remko go and get me McDonalds, and was it ever good:-). 
At around 8 the OB came in to check me.  This wasnt my OB since mine was on holidays.  However at this point I didnt care who it was just as long as he didnt send me home.  He checked me again and also did a sweep of the membranes.  He said that he also wanted me admitted even though there was no change.  YES!!! Finally we were admitted!! Although I was upset that there was no change, I was happy to know that we were admitted and we wouldnt be leaving without a baby. 
The next few hours I was able to breath through the contractions.  They felt like they were getting stronger, however still stayed in my lower abdomen. At around 2:30 the OB had called the hospital and since I was only 3cm dilated they decided to start me on the drip(Oxytocin).  At this point I was just happy to get things moving along.  It was so hard to hear after every internal that there wasnt no or little change.  I felt at times like my body was failing, that I was unable to do this.
 At 4pm we decided to get the morphine.  The nurse was concerned since I had not slept in a few days and I need some rest before we would start pushing.  And also the contractions seemed to picking up and getting closer together.  The morphine was AMAZING!!!  This was such a great drug!:-).  It didnt stop me from feeling the contractions but took the sharpness away, and let me sleep in between contractions.  By this point it was getting harder and harder to breath through the contractions so I had also that I NOT be touched by anyone(including Remko) and that no one talk when I was having a contraction.  I dont know why I had made these 'rules' but they seemed to help my concentrate on my breathing and just making it through them.  I remember thinking during a contraction that I just need to get over the 'peak' of them, like climbing a mountain lol.  It seemed the contractions were really picking up now.  At around 6:30 my OB came in and said he was going to check me(did I say how much I HATE internals?!?!?) and also break my water.  I didnt even feel my water being broken, which is nice cause I know I felt the internal :-(.  The morphine was supposed to last until 8(4 hours) but right after my water breaking the intensity of the contractions was getting stronger so the nurse suggested going into the tub.  At this point I was willing to try anything.  At first the water felt nice, almost relaxing to a point.  Jess and Remko both took turns pouring water over me to keep me warm.  I dont know if it was the water or the breaking of my water or maybe a combination of both but suddenly the contractions REALLY picked up.  I got out of the tub and I remember thinking that I couldnt do this anymore.  I was physically and mentally drained at this point.  I know that in my birth plan I didnt want any drugs but I was so tired that I had to have an epidural.  So they called up the anesthesiologist, and thankfully he was in the hospital so it didnt take long for him to get up to my room.  They checked me before and said I was 7cm!!!  YAH!! You would think I would be happy, however at this point I was in so much pain and just so tired.  The pain still stayed like a period cramp, only a MILLION times worse!  It was awful!  They only gave me a little bit of the epi to start with and than go from there.  I honestly dont even remember much about them giving it to me.  I think I may have felt a little sting when they put it in, but it didnt feel bad compared to a contraction. 
I had started to feel the contractions spread down my legs and I must have been laying more towards my right side cause I could feel them really strong in my left side.  Eventually I moved onto my left side so that the epi could run over there.  I was checked again at around 10pm and I was 9 cm and fully effaced.  She said to just breath through the contractions and any urge to push.  My OB was not at the hospital since it was the Stanley cup playoffs :-).  For the next hour and a bit I breathed through all the contractions.  I am happy that I decided to get the epi.  I didnt have a strong dose so I was still able to feel the contractions, however it helped me relax and 'rest' a bit.  Since early this morning my parents had been at the hospital.  My dad had left at 10 to get back home but my mom was still waiting in the room.  We were only allowed two people in our room and Remko and Jess counted.  I never had intended on having my mom in my room while I was pushing but at the last minute I knew I wanted her in there.  So asked VERY nicely to the nurse and she said of course. Im so glad that I had her in the room to witness this birth.
At 11:45 I started pushing.  Its funny cause everyone says that you will know when you have to push, and wow do you ever!!  I did a few pushed and than the nurse said that I will have to breath through the next few contractions.  I was confused since I thought the whole purpose was to push this baby out and now she was telling me to stop??  Well apparently she could see the head and the OB wasnt here.  A few contractions later the OB came and I was allowed to push again(oh and the hockey game was done, and Chicago won).  Pushing was the easiest part of the whole delivery. Although it burned like crazy!! Wow did it ever burn, but I think knowing that I was going to meet my little baby soon drove me to push even harder.  I pushed with everything I had.  At 12:14 am on June 10th, Benjamin William was born.  And its a moment I will NEVER forget.  I remember Remko saying its a boy its a boy! And than they placed in my arms and I couldnt even cry.  I was just so overjoyed and felt so much love for this little man. Truly a miracle.  They soon took Benjamin to clean him and check him over.  While they were doing this the doctor was delivering my placenta and also helping my uterus contract since he was worried that it wouldnt do so on its own since my labour was so long.  When he was done I started to shiver.  At first it was just a little bit, so I didnt think anything of it.  When Benjamin was done being cleaned and checked over they handed him back to me.  After a couple minutes my shakes got worse and I was feeling very dizzy and knew something wasnt right.  I asked for someone to take Benjamin, since I was worried I was going to drop him.  Apparently after that I passed out for about half an hour.  Remko told me that the nurse kept putting warm blankets on me to get my temperture down.  I had lost a lot of blood and had low iron, and combine that with a long labour and no rest for a few days resulted in a high fever.  When I woke back up I had stopped shaking but still felt a little off.  It wasnt until later that afternoon that I started to feel better.  Once they got my temperature under control, the nurse told Remko and I to rest.  She was amazing!!  She took Benjamin with her(honestly I dont even remember much of this at all, it was such a blur), and we rested until about 6am. 
The next morning was filled with a lot of nurses, doctors and who knows who else coming in.  We stayed in our big room until after lunch, at which time we were moved to a small private room.  (We didnt even have private coverage, however all the other rooms were full!! YAH for busy hospital!).  Once I showerd I was feeling a bit better, however I found it very difficult to walk or even just move my legs.  My OB said this was bc I was feeling all the contractions near the end go down my thighs so my muscles were very sore and swollen from this.  Honestly I would have to ask Remko to help me move my legs in bed just so I could get comfortable and hold Benjamin.  Later that afternoon our room was full of visitors.  It was really great having family and friends come over and meet Benjamin.  I still love showing him off to anyone and everyone :-).

All the infertility treatments, the heartach, and the long labour was worth it.  And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat! 
So this is my story.  I love how finally I have a 'story'.  It was a long time in the making, but its here and its mine.